Quotes From "The Problem With Forever" By Jennifer L. Armentrout

1
I was in love with him. I knew that much was true. Love was the swelling, hopeful feeling in my chest every time I saw him. Love was the way I could forget about everything when I was with him. Love was the catch in my breath when he looked at me in his intense way. Love was the gasp he could draw out of me with the simplest of touches. Love was the way I could.. I could be myself around him, know that I didn't need to be perfect or worry about what he was thinking, because he accepted me. Jennifer L. Armentrout
And it was knowing that I could still be. .....
2
And it was knowing that I could still be. .. still be afraid of everyhting, but not letting fear stop me from living Jennifer L. Armentrout
3
And I want you to know that I heard what you said in that speech, ' Rider said, his voice scratchy. 'I might've saved you all those years ago, but now you've saved me, ' My heart stuttered and then sped up. I reacted without thought. Placing the book on the bed, I launched myself at Rider just as he came off the window seat. We collided. I folded my arms around him as we went down onto the floor, me partially in his lap and his arms tight around my waist, his face burrowed against my neck. I felt a tremor run through his body and then he shook in my arms. I held him tighter as he broke into pieces, and years of holding it together shattered. I held him through it all. Then it was me who put Rider back together. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
4
My heart shattered. 'The boy that you keep painting - the one at the warehouse and at the art gallery? That boy is you, isn't it?' Rider didn't say anything.' It's not you from the past, ' I whispered. His handsome face blurred. 'That's still who you are.' He closed his eyes. Jennifer L. Armentrout
5
I want to back up to this whole caring about me thing, ” he said, surprising me as he made his way back to the canvas. “I know you care about me, Mallory.”My heart started beating fast as he shook the can.“ I care about you.” He knelt halfway down. A second passed and he moved his arm, spraying on the canvas. “And I think this was missing something.” Having no idea what he was doing or where he was going with this, I waited until he rose and stepped back, to the side. My lips parted on a soft gasp. Rider had spray-painted a heart between our names. I saw it with my own. Jennifer L. Armentrout
6
People are assholes, Mouse. You already know that.” He paused as he scooped some of my hair back, gently tossing the strands over my shoulder. “And there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” I glanced over at him. Everything about his steady gaze and the serious press of his lips screamed earnest. But he was wrong. “It is..embarrassing.”“ Not if you don’t let it be.” His leg brushed mine as he turned in his seat, facing me. Our eyes met. “You have the power over that. People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
7
I..I haven’t done a lot of this.” His cheeks flushed pink and my eyes widened. “I mean, I’ve done some stuff, but not a lot. I haven’t..had sex.” For the longest moment I couldn’t respond. All I could do was stare at him. “You’re a virgin?” One side of his lips kicked up. “Yeah. You sound surprised.”“ I am. I thought.. I don’t know. You were with.. Paige. I just assumed you had sex before.”“ That would be a negative, ” he replied, picking up my hand. “You’re looking at me like you don’t understand how it’s possible.” He could really read minds.“ It’s gotten close, but I just never– I haven’t wanted to go that far.” He shrugged a bare shoulder.“ I haven’t done it, either, ” I blurted out. “I mean, that’s super obvious since..you’re the first boy I’ve kissed, but yeah, I don’t even know..what I’m saying and I’m just going to shut up.” Rider chuckled. “Don’t. I love it when you ramble.”“ Only you would enjoy that.” I curled my fingers through his. “Do you want to..go that far with me?” His lashes swept up and his eyes, with their greenish flecks, met mine. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Someday.”Warmth swept across my cheeks as I whispered, “I..I want that, too. Someday.”The dimple in his right cheek appeared. “Then we’re on the same page. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
8
It was me who had to carry myself over the finish line, and all I needed to remember when I felt like not trying was that that feeling wouldn't last forever. Jennifer L. Armentrout
9
My chest clenched as I looked down at the oil-stained asphalt. Here but not. Existing but not living. I knew that feeling. Lived it for several years. Some days it felt like I was still wearing that feeling like a heavy jacket buttoned up too tightly. Jennifer L. Armentrout
10
The past never went away and it was not designed to do so. It would always be there, and it should be acknowledged. Jennifer L. Armentrout
11
Something weird moved through me, a feeling of familiarity, and as I stood in front of my locker, I found myself thinking of the one bright thing in a past full of shadows and darkness. I thought about the boy who made my chest hurt, the one who’d promised forever. It had been four years since I’d seen him or even heard him speak. Four years of trying to erase everything that had to do with that portion of my childhood, but I remembered him. I wondered about him. How could I not? I always would. He had been the sole reason I survived the house we’d grown up in. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
12
I like you, Mallory. And God knows you deserve a hell of a lot better than me.” He dipped his chin, laughing as he thrust his hand through his hair. “God. I suck at this. Can we just forget–” I snapped out of it. “You like me?” His gaze flew to mine. “Yeah, I do. And I know I’ve been with Paige and I’m not going to pretend that meant nothing, but it’s not how I feel for you. Not remotely like how I feel for you. And it’s not because of our past–because of you and I knowing each other for so long, ” he said, and the words kept coming out in a rush. “At first, I thought that was why–this attraction I have to you. I thought it was because of everything we’d shared. And then the night I came to your place and you fixed me up, I thought it was just this physical thing.” Pink raced across his cheeks. “And it is most definitely a physical thing, but it wasn’t just that. I think part of me knew that from the very first time you said my name.” Now my pulse was pounding. He liked-liked me. Oh my God, this was unexpected. This was totally unplanned. It was an infinite, vast sea of un. Jennifer L. Armentrout
13
People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it. Jennifer L. Armentrout
14
How..how do you feel about me?”“ I think it’s pretty obvious.”“ Let’s just say I need a detailed account.” His lashes lifted and his eyes met mine. “I can do that for you.”“ Okay.” I leaned toward him.“ I never once stopped thinking about you when you were taken away. Four years. All I could hope was that you were in a good place. Never expected you to walk into school. Didn’t even allow myself to dream about that. And then you did, and seeing you blew me away. You were just like I remembered, but different. The hints of the girl I saw in you when we were younger were now right in front of me. The moment you said my name–the moment you hugged me I knew.” Rider reached between us, folding his hand around mine. “I knew I’d fall in love with you and I did. I love you, Mallory.”My lips parted on an inhale. “What?”“I love you, and not the kind of love we had for each other when we were younger, you know? Paige knows that. So does Hector. So did Jayden. I love you. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
15
His gaze locked with mine and a slow grin appeared on his face. He didn’t look like he had last night. More like he did every day at school. Worn jeans. A black henley instead of a T-shirt and beat-up sneakers, but goodness, I couldn’t think. Okay. Not true. I could think, but I was thinking things I really had no concept of. I was thinking about those full, slightly curved lips and how they must feel in places..other than my forehead or cheek. I was thinking about his hands and how strong they were and the oddly pleasant calluses on his palms. I was thinking about..about a lot of things–things that now didn’t feel so wrong since he was actually single. Noticing my near-prone position, Ainsley looked over her shoulder. “Oh, my good God almighty, ” she murmured. “That’s him?”“ Yes, ” I whispered. That was so him. Jennifer L. Armentrout
16
You’re beautiful, too. I mean, you’re hot, ” I blurted out. “But I always knew you would be.” My eyes widened as I realized what just streamed out of my mouth, and his grin turned into a smile. “Oh my God, I did not just say..any of that out loud.”“ You did.”“ Ugh.” Tipping his head back, he laughed deeply. And he laughed like he had in those rare instances when something truly amused him. He did so with a freedom I’d envied. I started to place my hands over my flaming face, but he caught my wrists, holding them between us. His eyes were lighter, dancing. “I can pretend you didn’t say that if that makes you feel better, ” he suggested. Oh yes, that would be fabulous. I nodded.“ I won’t forget it, though. Jennifer L. Armentrout
17
Can I tell you something?”“ Yeah.” I wished I could tell him it was okay to keep touching my face, but that would probably be weird. Totally sounded weird in my head. And would be really inappropriate. Totally inappropriate. His lashes lowered and the lopsided grin appeared. “I always knew you’d be beautiful one day.” My breath hitched as I sat straighter. What was left of the pizza, just the crust, was totally forgotten. My ears had to be smoking crack or something. A flush swept across his cheeks as one side of his lips kicked up. “I just never thought I’d get to see how beautiful you’d become. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
18
Hell...” His voice was thick, rough. “Mallory, you’re...”“ What?” I whispered, feeling my body burn for two very different reasons.“ You’re beautiful.” His gaze dipped, tracking the lacy edges of the bra. “Never thought I’d see you like this. So freaking glad I have. You’re so beautiful, Mallory. Jennifer L. Armentrout
19
When I got home, a spicy scent lured me into the kitchen. My stomach grumbled and I might’ve started drooling the moment I spotted the cheesy enchiladas cooling on the counter. They were drenched in homemade queso. My favorite. Dropping my bag on the floor, I skipped over to where Rosa was placing the plates on the table. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and squeezed. Rosa laughed as she turned. “It’s the queso, isn’t it?” Nodding, I dropped my arms and stepped back. Jennifer L. Armentrout
20
This reminds me of old times, ” he said, and his lashes lifted. As his gaze drifted over me, it was focused but all too brief, because he looked away, a muscle working along his jaw. “Kind of.” A flush raced across my cheeks as I switched out the ball for a new one. He was right–this was like all the other times I’d cleaned him up. Well, when I was younger, I tried to clean him up, but had no idea what I was doing, but as we grew older, and he got into fights defending me or for some other reason, this was our routine. Except I was pretty sure that when his gaze roamed over me just now, he’d checked out my breasts, and that was definitely something that hadn’t happened before. Jennifer L. Armentrout
21
So how long do I have before–what were their names? Carl and Rosa? Yeah, that’s them. How long do I have before they come back?”“ I don’t know. Maybe..maybe an hour or so?” My hands felt incredibly small in his. That lopsided grin was back. “I doubt they’d be happy to find me here.”“ Why?” His brows rose. “Maybe I’m wrong. They used to coming home to find some strange guy sitting on their couch?” I rolled my eyes.“ That’s it, isn’t it?” Rider tugged on my hands, and I rose, letting him pull me down to the couch beside him. He leaned back, sliding one arm around my shoulders and tucking me against his side. “Just par for the course with you, huh?” I didn’t know what to do with my hands since he’d let go of them, so I folded them in my lap. “I’ve never had a..guy here.” Rider stiffened and then he twisted his neck so he was looking at me. Did I seriously admit that out loud? Squeezing my eyes shut, I sighed. “I’m just..going to shut up now.” He chuckled. “Don’t do that. I like listening to you talk. Jennifer L. Armentrout
22
I ate lunch with Keira today. Second day in a row, ” I told him, then winced at how stupid that sounded. Rider’s grin turned into a full smile, transforming his handsome face into the kind of masculine beauty that was like a punch to the chest. “That’s really good, Mallory.” His voice dropped as he reached over, curving his hand over my arm. There was a near electric rush from his touch. “I’m proud of you. For real.” Giddiness surrounded my heart as I stared at his large hand, darker than my own. He knew how big that was, and I didn’t feel so idiotic. He got it. He got me. And that meant the entire universe to me. Jennifer L. Armentrout
23
I’m glad..you texted.” Rider tilted his head to the side. “Yeah?”I nodded, probably a little too eagerly, but as the dimple in his right cheek took shape, it was like being rewarded. Our eyes met for a moment, and I didn’t want him to leave. An urge took me like it had during lunch, and I all but bounced forward. Gripping his arms, I stretched up and kissed his cheek. It was pretty much just a peck, so I figured it wasn’t crossing any lines, but the feel of his skin under my lips was still unnerving and unexpected.“ Be careful, ” I whispered, backing off. Rider’s grin faded from his handsome face. A moment passed before he spoke. “Always, Mouse. Jennifer L. Armentrout
24
The drawings make you smile, ” he replied with a grin. “Working on the speech doesn’t do anything.” That..that was so sweet, I wanted to hug him tight, kiss him, too. “Working on your speech will make me smile, too.” His brows lifted and then he flipped his notebook closed. “I know what else will make you smile.”“ What? You actually doing some homework?”“ Nope.” He glanced at the door again and then rose. “I think me sitting closer to you will make you smile.” The boy knew me well. He took a step closer. “I think holding your hand will make you smile.” I straightened as I watched him.“ And I think..” He sat on the edge of the bed and twisted his body toward mine. “I think kissing you will make you smile, too. Jennifer L. Armentrout
25
You should be working on your speech instead of staring, ” Rider said, never taking his eyes off his notebook. Paige’s dark eyes flew to me and then narrowed. Heat exploded across my cheeks.“ And you should actually be working on, I don’t know, your speech?” Hector grinned as he gestured to his paper, which appeared to have actual words on it. “And please don’t stare at him, Mallory. Because of Paige, his ego is already big enough. He doesn’t need any help. Jennifer L. Armentrout
26
You’re right.” A wicked little grin tugged at his lips. “I think we should celebrate.” Pausing, he waggled his brows at me. “We have fifty minutes now. I only need, like, five of them.”“ Oh my God, ” I laughed, shoving at his shoulders. “You’re terrible.”“ I’m not terrible.” His eyes met mine, and the flutter was back, deeper and more dizzying. “I’m in love.” Oh, gosh. My heart swelled like a balloon, and all I could do was stare at him for several seconds before I managed to whisper, “I love you, too.”“ I know.” Rider lowered his mouth to mine, and the kiss scattered my thoughts. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
27
Before I could protest, which wouldn’t be wise even though I did want him to hang out longer, he placed his hands on my cheeks. My breath stalled out somewhere between my throat and chest. Leaning in, he pressed his lips against my forehead, dropping a kiss that squeezed my heart into slush. My eyes drifted shut as his lips lingered against my skin. Knocked off-kilter, I didn’t move when he pulled back and stood. Jennifer L. Armentrout
28
Dropping his arm from my shoulders, he reached down and folded his hand around mine. It wasn’t the first time he’d held my hand, but there was an intimacy there that hadn’t been present before. A tight shiver curled its way down my spine as his thumb moved along my palm while we walked down to class. He had not done that before. Rider let go of my hand when we entered speech, and I stepped in front of him, walking toward my seat. I dropped my bag on the floor and started to sit when Rider swooped down, kissing my cheek once more. I flushed as I glanced over at him. He grinned as he sat. “Couldn’t help myself. Your cheek looked like it was missing my kiss. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
29
Rider made this sound in the back of his throat. It was deep and masculine, part groan and growl, and it made me shiver. He folded one hand along my cheek and lowered his head to mine, but he didn’t kiss me. No. His warm breath glided over my forehead as his hand slid across my cheek, his fingers spreading into my hair at the base. His other hand landed low on my back, and the weight did insane things to my insides. He drew it up my back, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. My eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed over the curve of my cheek. It was the craziest torture. My entire body tensed, prepared for the moment when his lips met mine. And it was the sweetest pressure, a feather-light brush of his lips over mine. Once. Then twice. I felt the touch everywhere, a jolt to the system that zipped through my veins, and then the pressure increased. Rider kissed me then. It was a real one, soft and beautiful, and when the kiss deepened, it wasn’t a shy one. He knew what he was doing, and even though I didn’t, an innate knowledge told me it didn’t matter. His lips mapped out mine, and my insides were in tight coils. Kissing was awesome. Amazing. Astonishing. I could probably think of a couple of more words to describe it. Kissing blew me away, and when he lifted his mouth, both of us were breathing hard. He rested his forehead against mine. Neither of us spoke for several moments. I still wasn’t thinking. I had no idea how my hands had gotten to Rider’s chest, but his heart pounded under my palm as fast as mine did. My mind was blissfully blank as I breathed in his scent, a mix of his citrusy cologne and the faint trace of paint.“ Did you like that?” he asked, dragging his fingers out of my hair and over the line of my jaw. Screaming yes, oh, God, yes, would’ve probably been a little too excessive, so I managed a somewhat subdued, “Yes.”As Rider grinned, his lips brushed mine. “Good. Because I really liked it. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
30
Goodness, I was already a dork most of the times. I didn't need to be a drunk or high dork. Jennifer L. Armentrout
31
I don’t want to..be like this, ” I whispered as I looked away, and once I said it, I didn’t even want to take the words back. A weird sensation hit me, almost like..like relief. That didn’t make sense. Or did it? “I don’t like who I am.” My gaze returned to his, and the concern was still there, filling his hazel eyes and thinning out his mouth. Tears crawled up the back of my throat. Humiliating actually, to admit something so intimate like that, but now I wasn’t the only one who knew this about myself. It wasn’t my secret.“ It’s okay. You’re not going to feel that way forever.” Rider smoothed his thumb along my jaw. I closed my eyes, wanting to believe him. Needing to. He kept his voice low as he spoke. “Nothing lasts forever, Mouse. Jennifer L. Armentrout
32
I wanted him to meet Ainsley. She was super important to me. I made my decision. “I..I would like that.” Rider’s reaction was immediate. He smiled and the dimple appeared. My breath caught. I’d actually invited Rider along to meet Ainsley. I wanted that. Really wanted that, but I had no idea what to do with that. Regardless, excitement hummed through me. Hanging out with Rider and Ainsley was normal. Something a million people probably did every day, because they were actually living life, but it was a first for me–a huge first. It was my best friend and it was the guy..the guy who’d been my best friend and who now, despite everything, felt like something deeper, richer and more intricate, hanging out together. It felt important. Jennifer L. Armentrout
33
I don’t want you involved in any of that.”“ Because you care about me?”“ Of course.” I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t want to worry about you getting hurt.” He stepped in and his other hand settled just above my hip. “Because you want to be with me?”“ Yes.” That word was easy to speak. Rider smiled then and the right dimple appeared. “You want to be my girlfriend.” I opened my mouth and then I laughed. It sounded strange after the seriousness of our conversation, but the statement was sweet and silly. His cheeks pinked. “Not sure how I feel about that laugh, ” he teased. “But I do love the sound of it.” My breath caught at the word. Love. Oh, gosh, was that what was happening here?“ So do you? Want to be my girlfriend?” he asked, and then chuckled. “Probably should’ve brought this up before I kissed you, but I want.. I want to see where this goes, Mallory. I feel like we got a second chance, you know? I’ve been thinking that since I sat down in speech and saw you sitting there. We have a second chance. And who gets second chances?” I searched his gaze, feeling a rightness deep in my chest. I had thought the same thing before, about second chances.“ I don’t want to pass that up. Jennifer L. Armentrout
34
Forever was my heartbeat and it was the hope tomorrow held. Jennifer L. Armentrout
35
You’ve given up on yourself before anyone else has a chance to.” Silence greeted me. I could feel Rider’s stare on me. Several moments passed. “That’s bullshit, and kind of priceless coming from you. You gave up on me yesterday.” I started to defend myself, but I couldn’t. I swallowed hard. “I know. You’re right about that, but I’m also right.”“ And how’s that?” Challenge hardened his tone.“ Because I give up on myself on a daily basis, ” I admitted. My cheeks heated but I continued. “I know.” He sucked in an audible breath. “Mallory..”I shook my head as I thought about all the conflicting emotions and needs and wants. “It’s true. It’s what I do. I don’t mean to. Or maybe I do. It’s..it’s easier being scared of everything.”“ How..how can that be?” His voice softened. “How can that be easier?” My smile was faint. Suddenly, I really wished I was at home, with my head under the blankets. “You can’t fail when you don’t really try, right? You’d know that. . Jennifer L. Armentrout
36
We’re probably leaving soon, ” Rider said. “Might catch a movie.” Jayden leaned against the wall as he looked around the room. “I see how it is. You figure you don’t stand a chance with Mallory now that I’m here to show her what a real man looks like.” He winked as Rider just shook his head. “Fine, leave. But no dumb movie will be as entertainin’ as the Jayden Show. And I don’t charge admission. . Jennifer L. Armentrout